Love Factually by Duana Welch

Find in catalogThe subtitle tips you off right away: “Love Factually: 10 proven steps from I wish to I do.”  It’s not a book designed for the married or permanently partnered.  As Welch says in her introduction, “If that’s you, it may be time to stop asking yourself whether you are in the right relationship, which is a courtship question, and ask yourself instead how you can improve the relationship you’ve got, which is a commitment question.”  But for any still seeking a life partner, this book is, at the least, useful and at the best, offers insightful, real-world, step-by-step strategies for success.

In a breezy writing style that manages to find the perfect balance between accessible and authoritative, Welch takes the reader first through a self-assessment. Are there any beliefs getting in your way?  Have you thought through the qualities you need in a partner?  (Hint: kindness and respect should be on everyone’s list.)  How to tell if a relationship is worth the investment – for you?

Once you know what you’re looking for, Welch identifies proven places where you can meet potential partners, including an analysis of online dating sites. This part of the book also concentrates on gender psychology and how to be sure you’re sending the signals you intend during the mating dance.

The last third of the book focuses on closing the deal. Including how to break up – since you “can’t say yes to the right one if you’re stuck with the wrong one” – and the science behind the commitment decision, which, again, differs by gender.

Before relocating to Eugene earlier this year, Welch taught psychology at universities in Austin, Texas and for the past six years has written the advice blog “LoveScience.” As a result, “Love Factually” is both anchored in science and offers lively advice for real-life issues.  Recommended for anyone still in courtship mode. – Connie Bennett, Library Director

 

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